Davis Collier

“Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you” I met Davis in the 7th grade. She had just moved to Newburgh and we ended up with the same homeroom two years in a row. She is the most down to earth person I know. Davis and I really started becoming friends in the 8th grade. We saw each other everyday and we had track together so our friendship really sparked then. So many laughs. So many memories. We were just two goofy kids. When I found out she was going to SIG I was devastated. I felt like I had finally found my BFF forever. But I remember he telling me “Chloe we will always be friends it will be okay, we will still see each other.” And it put me at ease. It was the last day of 8th grade. I had been waiting patiently for her and when I finally saw her I sprinted down the hallway in my heels and I just remembered her freaking out and saying “CHLOE YOU ARE GOING TO GET HURT STOPPPP” and then us just laughing so hard. We had gotten a picture that day, probably her mom taking it for us. And instead of us posing like all the “cool kids” were we just ended up hugging each other so tightly plus with a little bit of silliness. In the picture you can really tell how our friendship was. And it was forever like that.

It was that summer I remembered going over to her house in spending the night. We had been at the mall all day shopping with Olivia Dean and then her and I went back to her house. We talked for hours laughed watched movies. We bonded over the same music especially like Taylor Swift and Shawn Mendes. We talked about our love for taking pictures and Polaroids. We both loved talking about our future. We both love kids and baking. It was 12 am at the Collier house. We were on the subject of baking and Pinterest. All of sudden she said “want to make cupcakes?” I thought she was crazy! Of course I wanted to but I was like “it’s really late” She then proceeded to tell me “it’s okay I do this all the time” so we then started making cupcakes we found on Pinterest and made it homemade along with the chocolate icing. We put our own twist with it and made them extremely colorful. It felt like we made over 100 cupcakes. We made a giant plate for ourselves thinking we could eat all of them. But we only had like one. Here’s a pic of our cupcakes we thought we would eat on our own and the recipe we used (this was when DM had just became a thing on Insta):

After that Davis and I tried to stay in touch as much as possible. We had so much going on and different schools it was hard. She always knew when I was down, and she always knew the right things to say. But our friendship and bond with each other never left. When she told me she was coming to Castle her junior year I was so excited. I had been struggling so much with friends and trying to be myself was really hard for me. But when we caught up that summer before it was like we had never been apart. We talked about our fears and the things we had gone though since the last time we really hung out. We talked about boys and drama we had gone through. We talked again about our future. We had talked about always wanting to adopt kids. Especially her. I had told her we were in the final process of our family having foster kids come into our home and she was soooo excited! She had really got into the topic of adopting and just telling me how amazing it was my family was doing this. That day we had walked around downtown Newburgh and ate at Cleo’s. It had honestly been one of my happiest days in a long time. I felt normal again, complete. Davis and I hung out a lot after that. We went to Olive Garden and that girl oh my gosh! So she wanted to eat healthier or didn’t want to look like She was fat so she asked me to get a soft drink. I did. I got my food. She got a eggplant pasta thing (Davis liked trying knew things but I was kind just like why eat an eggplant?) so we eat. And then she is like “I really want dessert.... will you get one with me?” So of course I got some. Everything was delicious. Next thing I know my bill was $30+ hers was only $15. Davis sure knew how to get what she wanted but in a good way. We had then went to the mall. I told her I had Sephora gift card but wouldn’t even know what to get in there. So she took me in. And she was like “What about a lipstick ?” She dragged me over there and then proceeded to pick out one for me and the color. I wear that lipstick all the time now. Because it is so special. Few weeks later we went to a concert together at the 4H. It was honestly one of the best nights in my life. We danced all night laughed til our stomachs hurt, she also somehow convinced me to get a lemon shakeup, we visited the goats and I saw a baby one and thought it was the cutest thing ever until it bit down really hard making me scream and it made this girl laugh so hard! I remember I had to walk far to my mom and Davis was worried about me walking that far alone. She is so sweet and so caring. A few nights before that I had broken up with my on again off again ex boyfriend. I was upset. Davis has been to my house one time in her life in middle school before a track meet. And she still knew exactly where I lived and surprised me with my favorite Blizzard. She liked to do that a lot to be honest after that. Just stop by and say hi. Talk to me before heading home that night. I truly felt like a normal kid with a normal friendship. My parents adore Davis. She has always been that one person my mama always felt so good about and loved having around. A few weeks later, my family and I were in Chicago. My brother and I found out we were going to have another sibling. Mom and Dad told me DO NOT TELL ANYONE! And of course I said I promise I won’t! And told Davis right away right after that. She was so so so excited !!! Couple months later I had talked to her about helping me with her baby shower. She was so excited, she went straight to Pinterest and made a Pinterest board just for this baby shower. We had taken this very very seriously.

With the new school year and all Davis and I had some issues. We tried spending time together and it never worked out and at some points we got emotional over some things ESPECIALLY me. And till this day I beat myself up for that. Wishing I wouldn’t have made a scene about certain things and I regret that so much. It hurts. But knowing we were going to be playing lacrosse together that season I knew we would be okay and fix our problems and I feel like we did. January 14th we were suppose to go to a iceman game together for team bonding. Jaye and her were going to pick me up and we would all drive together. The day before we had talked for awhile. Especially about the game. We both didn’t really want to go but wanted to see each other. She had snapped me and said “I will talk to you later love you!” And that was the last time I have ever heard from her.

January 13, 2018. A night my life changed and for so many others. A friend of mine messaged me. One I don’t hear from often. He told me she was in accident but I figured she was okay. Davis was going to be okay. I started calling her asking her if she was okay. And I had no response. Finally my friend said no. Chloe she isn’t okay. Davis passed away. In the moment I just remember falling to my knees and started screaming. Crying. I didn’t believe it, I just didn’t. I remember running up the stairs yelling she is gone she is gone. I opened my parents door in a panic. Screaming more. Mom just held me. She told me we don’t know anything for sure. Just keep praying. Jaye had then confirmed for me. And I broke down. I couldn’t breath. My parents also heartbroken, not knowing what to do or say to help with the pain. I finally went back to my room and I sat on the floor. Hating myself. For being so upset with her for stupid little things. I have always believed in god but my faith was not strong. Especially with everything that has ever happened in my life. But I was just sitting there. For a moment no tears falling down my face. I closed my eyes and had started singing “And oh, how He loves us oh Oh how He loves us, How He loves us all” I didn’t sleep at all that week. I felt so much regret and hating myself. Part of me felt like I needed to do something to make it up to her. I had designed a shirt that week. Never did anything with it though. But I focused on that instead of grieving. The day of the funeral. My body shaking. Trembling. All of a sudden we started singing. And it was the song I had just sang to myself the night she passed. There I started crying. Along with everyone else. It hit me hard when I saw her family, Walking down the aisle with her casket. That’s when it finally hit me. She was gone. She really was gone.

Few months after she passed I still struggled. Really bad. She was on my mind at all times. When moms baby shower came around it was bad. Everyone kept telling me how sorry they are for my loss and wanting to talk about her. It was bad enough I was there without her when she was suppose to help me with it and now she will never get to meet Harper who she was so excited to meet. And when Harper finally came I couldn’t help but just think about how Davis would have came and held her the very first chance she got to see this little girl. Mama told me a couples months back, that Harper will just look up in the sky and smile and Laugh. She tells me when she does this she often will say “Are you saying hi to Davis ? Are you talking to Davis?” And mom proceeds to talk to her about Davis. In that moment my mother told me that. That was when I decided I wanted to find my faith with god finally. And I have been ever since. Davis was such a light. She could brighten anyones day. Her laugh, her smile, was so contagious. She loved food ESPECIALLY ice cream. Her hugs were so incredible. I say a lot that Davis and I were pretty much the same. Personality wise. We loved pretty much the same things. What really makes us different though is her love for God. Wanting others to love Him as much as she does. It is so strong. So powerful. It’s beautiful. Just like her. I will forever be grateful for our friendship. To have the memories we have and cherish them forever.

There’s a Taylor Swift song. Her song is called New Years Day. Now it may be about a guy on New Years Day, but I look at as a way of thinking what our future would have been us girls party On New Years Day. But the lyrics “Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you And I will hold on to you” holds such a meaning to me. Because it just reminds me to always hold on to those memories with her and never let go of them. And to always hold on to the friendship I had with such an amazing person.

Just like her Mom said she truly was a “Sunshine in Motion” and will always be the light in my darkest times. Thank You Davis. For inspiring all of us and being our guardian angel. I hope I am making you proud Davis. I love you forever and always girlie. Until I see you again.